My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
