hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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