That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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