Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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