If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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