Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
