This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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