i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
