Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
