There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Holy sore nipples Batman
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize