But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
