yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
