I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
