I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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