on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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