I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
