your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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