I want to make a zoo with you.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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