thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
