The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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