God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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