I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Less talking, more tequila
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize