do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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