omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so let's talk penis.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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