ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
its liver damage thursday
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
