My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
