if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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