My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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