Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
