If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
