He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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