need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
