Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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