Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
