dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
