Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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