new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
