Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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