I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize