Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
