You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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