You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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