I just pynch a tree in the face
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
