He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
