i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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