"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
