Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
