is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
