I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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