Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
