For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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