Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Is it penis luge time yet?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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