I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
