Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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