I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Randomize