She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize