the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize