I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
